He's Just Not That Into You

Unless you've been living in a hole, you've probably heard of the book He's Just Not That Into You, where a guy named Greg tells you all the signs of a guy who isn't into you, and if you are dating this guy, then you need to dump him.

I've recently (and currently) have dealt with a guy who is giving me mixed signals on if he's 'into me', so that's why I picked up this book. I had read it a few years ago when it first came out, but they are turning it into a movie, so I wanted to refresh my memory and hope that maybe it will get me to stop thinking about this guy who, according to the book, isn't into me.

Here's some notes that I took from the book and Greg's signs that a guy isn't into you. I color coded them so the red are quotes from the book, the blue are my thoughts on those quotes, and the black is the chapter titles.

If a guy really likes you, there is nothing that's going to get in his way.

1.) He's Just Not That Into You If He's N0t Asking You Out. (Because if he likes you, he will ask you out.) OK, this makes sense. If a guy likes you than he's be wanting to get to know you better, grab a cup of coffee, going out to dinner, whatever it is that people do on first dates. Guys don't mind messing up a friendship if it could lead to sex whether it be a 'fuck buddy' situation or a meaningful romance. Well, that's good to know. Best friend Rob would rather get laid by you instead of caring about your friendship together. Let's make up a rule that we do sleep with our friends. Shouldn't they be more important than sex? Men like to chase and you have to let them chase you. I asked some guys about this one, and they disagree. Guys like it when girls ask them out, they say that it takes off the pressure of having to ask a girl out. So, don't assume that just because you asked a guy out that things aren't going to work for the two of you.

2.) He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Calling You (Men know how to use the phone.) Of course you want a guy who's going to call you, but there are some people who just don't like talking on the phone, I'm one of them. So if he's texting you, does that mean he doesn't like you? It's the year 2009, where I think texting is the new calling. But yes, having a guy call you up every so often is nice. So guys, if you are into a girl and are just texting her, give her a call once or twice a week. 100% of men polled said they've never been to busy to call a woman they were really into.

3.) He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Dating You ("Hanging out" is not dating.) Duh. I haven't really been on dates. Every guy I've dated I was always friends with first, so I don't really know how to tell the difference between hanging out and dating. Would be watching at movie at home with a guy be considered "hanging out"? Do you actually have to go to the movies to have it be considered ''dating"? If this is the case, than hanging out is cheaper than dating. 100% of guys polled said "a fear of intimacy" has never stopped them from getting into a relationship.

4.) He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Having Sex With You (When men like you, they want to touch you, always) True. But there's always those players out there who will have sex with you and make you think that they are into you, when really, they aren't. But yeah, if you are dating a guy and he doesn't want to have sex with you, then there's something wrong. Unless he's religious and is saving sex for marriage. If a man isn't trying to undress you, he's not into you. Once again, this kind of applies to if you are dating the guy. There's a guy who I know is into me (and I wish I was into him, then I wouldn't have needed to read this book) and he's not spending his time trying to get me naked. It's called respect. I don't want every guy who likes me to try to get me in my underwear.

5.) He's Just Not That Into You If He's Having Sex With Someone Else (There's never going to be a good excuse for cheating.) I think we can just leave it at that. No explanation needed.

6.) He's Just Not That Into You If He Only Wants To See You When He's Drunk (If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgement isn't impaired.) Good point. You can't have a relationship with someone who's always drunk. Drunk people are only fun for a few hours, then they just get annoying. 100% of men polled said they have never vomited in the bed of a woman they were really into. Does that mean they have vomited in the beds of the women they weren't really into?

7.) He's Just Not That Into You If He Doesn't Want To Marry You (Love cures commitment-phobia.) This one kind of made me mad. I'm friends with a couple who have been dating for like 5 or something years and they aren't married yet. According to Greg this guy just isn't into this girl who he lives with and spends lots of time with and are just super cute together. Of course she's ready to get married, and he's not, but I don't think that means that they won't ever get married, they are both still young and no one has ever created a time limit on how long you have to date someone before you have to marry them. Marriage is a scary thing, and so many of them end bad, that as of right now (because you should all listen to the single girl) I don't even know if I want to get married. Of course, that could all change when I find a guy who I like who is 'into me'. 100% of the guys polled said they would have no problem marrying a woman who they were positive was the love of their life. OK, but just how long did it take for these guys who actually marry this woman?

8.) He's Just Not That Into You If He's Breaking Up With You (Duh) ("I don't want to go out with you" means just that) 100% of men polled said that when they broke up with someone, it always meant that they didn't want to go out with them anymore. I thought this was pretty true, until one of my ex's kept telling me he missed me and stuff. Of course, it wasn't the ex that I would actually get back together with. There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.

9.) He's Just Not That Into You If He's Disappeared On You (Sometimes you have to get closure all by yourself.) That's just mean. Geez guys, have the guts to actually tell the girl that you don't like her anymore. In a nice way off course. No answer is your answer. 100% of men polled who had "disappeared" on a woman said that at the time they were completely aware of what a horrible thing they were doing, and no woman calling them up and talking to them would have changed that.

10.) He's Just Not That Into You If He's Married (and other variations of being unavailable) (If you're not able to love freely, its not really love.) It sucks when you think you've met Mr. Right and he turns out to be married. But don't get involved with him, because in the end, either you or the wifey will have gotten hurt. And love shouldn't involve hurting people.

11.) He's Just Not That Into You If He's A Selfish Jerk, A Bully, or A Really Big Freak (If you really love someone, you want to do things to make that person happy.) Basically what this chapter talked about is how weird guys can be, there was one guy who wouldn't sleep in the same bed as his girlfriend. So much for snuggling. Either he's just not into her, or he has issue, but I know that I would never want to be with a guy who didn't want to sleep in the same bed as me.

So there you go, 11 signs that this guy just isn't into you. Hopefully you either have or will find a guy who doesn't fall into any of these categories. Someone who will call you, sleep with you, marry you, love you, etc.