Sunday, July 18, 2010

Breaking Dawn

Oh boy, where do I even start? I've been bitching about this book for weeks and finally finished it. And I still have no idea why people love this series.

This is the final book in the series (thank god) and here's what happens....

So Bella and Edward get married. Because they are in love and do the whole Romeo and Juliet b.s. (you know, "if you die, then I will kill myself so that we can be together"). Who actually does that? Oh that's right... NO ONE!!!!

So they get married and Jacob shows up at the wedding and I was hoping that he'd go crazy and start a fight because for some strange reason he is in love with Bella and hates Edward because he got her and because he's a vampire and vampires and werewolves aren't suppose to like each other. I get that. Werewolves are cooler. But his stupid friends stop him from fighting.

Bella and Edward go on a honeymoon and of course get busy. They had so much fun that he knocks her up. Good job dude. Now, keep in mind that Bella is still human, and now she has a vampire baby inside of her. They go home to the Cullen's clan and everyone keeps an eye on her while she's prego because its a new thing for a human to be having a vampire baby and no one knows what to expect.

Well, the evil vampire baby (who is just creepy as hell no matter how cute the author tried to make her) grows super fast, so there is not enough room in Bella and the baby starts breaking Bella's bones and everyone is worried that its going to kill her. No such luck. The baby is born and in order to save Bella, Edward as to turn her into a vampire. So now she's a vampire and apparently vampires are super strong and super hot and in her case super annoying.

Jacob used to be my favorite character until he started to like the evil vampire baby (named Renesme or something weird like that) and imprints on her. In werewolf world, imprinting is kind of like love at first sight. When you imprint it means that this is the person for you. So it was really creepy (and f-ed up) that he did it with Bella's baby.

So a bunch of boring pointless everyday crap happens, then one day when Bella, Jacob, and Nessie (they nicknamed the baby Nessie) are out hunting some other vampire sees them and goes and tells the higher ups that vampires and werewolves are friends and that they have a child with them. The Cullen's get word that the Voltri (?) are coming and want a war. And since there is more of them than there are of the Cullen's get worried so they call all their friends to help with this war. Finally some action! Not so fast, once the head vampire clan show up and they see Nessie and get the full story and realize that she has no threat to humans or anyone else, they decide not to fight. Damn.

So everyone has a happy ending. Bella and Edward have their creepy child, Jacob has his future wife, and no one died. How sad. :o(

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