Saturday, November 29, 2008


I finally allowed myself to become part of the Twilight cult. Or at least for a few hours while I read this over popular novel. You probably shouldn't read this entry if you are so in love with this novel, that a little or a lot of criticism will make you mad. Let's get started shall we?

Lets start with the cover. When I look at the cover, it makes me think of Snow White. Eat the poison apple Snow White. Or in this case, it could be more like, eat the poison apple Bella and you will fall in love with a vampire who will put you and your family in danger. Yum, poison apple.

So, for all 2 of you who haven't read this book, here's how it goes. Bella, is a dark and confusing teenager, as most teenagers are, who moves to Washington to live with her dad while her mom goes and has fun with a baseball (or maybe its basketball) player. Frankly, I don't blame her. I'd gladly go off with a cute athlete. Forks is the perfect place for someone who hates the rain and cold to move to. It just makes sense. So she moves there, goes to school, and like in most books and movies, but never in actual real life, she has like three guys in love with her straight from start. Which I don't understand, because she's a pale, brown haired, weirdo and I'm the same, and never get any guys to want to ask me to the school dance. And she turns them all down. That's not a normal thing for a teenager to do.

Anyway, on her first day she sees the Cullen clan and is fascinated by them. Apparently they are the most beautiful people in the whole town. This, I might understand, if I hadn't already seen the not so beautiful people who play them in the movie. Did I miss something? Cedric is not that cute. He wasn't that cute in Harry Potter, and because he wasn't very cute in Harry Potter, he decided to turn into a vampire. This is obviously going to confuse anyone who has not seen the 4th Harry Potter movie.

Bella falls in love with Edward, even though he is a vampire. But a vegetarian vampire (inside joke). Apparently his family doesn't eat people, but eat animals. I agree, a nice bear has got to be far more tasty than a homeless person. But, the world is way over populated so I think they should start eating people. At least the bad people like killers and Hitler.

One night Bella goes with Edward to watch his family play baseball when the visitors show up. The visitors being vampires as well but not friendly ones. Since Bella is human, one of them (James) decides that he's going to eat her. This is where the book went all wrong. The Cullens know that James wants to eat Bella, so instead of calling up Buffy to slay him, or Edward being a real man and protecting his girlfriend and killing James himself, they run away. Isn't there a saying about how running away from your problems isn't going to fix them? This book proves that. Lets run away and put Bella's family in danger. What a great idea. So they take her to Phoenix where her family lives and eventually Bella comes face to face with James, unarmed with a stake to stab and kill him with, and almost gets herself killed. Good thing the Cullens figured out that she had run away and were there in time to save her.In the end, everything is a good and jolly. Bella and Edward get to be together.

This is suppose to be a love story. Now, maybe I have a cold heart or something, but just how many high school relationships last? So I had a hard time convincing myself that these two were really in love. I'm sure as hell not in love with the guy(s) I thought I was in love with in high school. I do not understand how 3 other books were made off this storyline. Am I going to read them? Maybe someday, but not anytime soon. Am I going to see the movie? Yeah, probably. I'm kind of curious how they brought it all to life.

There was a lesson to this story. Stay away from vampires! They might come in handy when someone is trying to kill you, but they also kind of put you in danger. And break your heart. It happened to Buffy, it'll happen to Bella too.

1 comment:

birdeeb said...

LOL you crack me up ;o)